“Our vocation is not simply to be, but to work together with God in the creation of our own life, our own identity, our own destiny.” ~Thomas Merton
Welcome to a journey, friend.
Today begins a 31-day expedition to finding our passion and learning a little more about ourselves. My hope is that this will be a journey for both of us that will reunite us with our passion(s): first, by identifying those elements we feel so strongly about, and secondly, by finding a path to pursue them.
God has hard-wired us to have passions - but we need to find them! This month, I hope to help you find yours.
This year, I’m in a new season of life: my baby boy just began kindergarten this fall and is in school full-time. My other baby is a strong-willed fourth-grade girl who is ready to conquer the world! For the first time, our babies are finally together at the same school. (And, yes, I will always refer to them as my babies. Always.) I’m still trying to get used to this new season of not having any children at home. I've had a few emotional days.
In my past season of life, though, when I was the mama of littles running around the house and had very limited free time, I let tasks and commitments govern me – and made little to no time for personal creative pursuits. Only mama and house business. All the time. Fresh food first. Laundry next. Exercise and sleep (good – but not always fun). Commitments after that. ...These activities left very little mental creative time for this mama. Plus, I was basing my self-worth on how well I was finishing my to-do list every day.
Once my little guy dropped his afternoon nap, I set no boundaries for my personal time (which is also when I stopped blogging). I love spending time with our children, but I seldom saved any of my time for the one thing I needed most: creative dabbling, dwelling in possibility, resting in an idea, pursuing a creative vision. It seemed too self-indulgent! Discipline as a wife, mother and other roles had won: it wouldn’t leave any room for beauty, spontaneity, whimsy, color or fun.
This past spring, I found myself feeling a little lost - wondering who I was beyond being a mother. I felt very grey - like I was living in a monotone world. (Remember the movie “Pleasantville”?) After several tearful conversations with my supportive husband, I realized that I had become so disciplined that I had simply lost a part of myself. The creative path was no longer a part of my life; I had simply lost my role as a creative writer mama.
And I wasn’t even sure I had the energy to get it back.
The more mamas I speak to, the more I'm learning that this lack of passion is a common experience for many women.
What about you? How are you feeling today?
Take a few minutes to think about what’s on your mind and write down your thoughts. Start creating some mental space for things other than your to-do list. What do you feel passionate about today?
Taking time to write down my thoughts a few minutes each day was the beginning of a therapeutic, productive process. I'll share more about that tomorrow.
The Oxford Dictionary defines passion as strong emotion or enthusiasm; eagerness, intensity, zeal, mania, obsession, craze, hunger, itch, yearning, longing, desire.
How about a cup of this? Yes, please!
Looking forward to our journey.