“Our vocation is not simply to be, but to work together with
God in the creation of our own life, our own identity, our own destiny.” ~Thomas Merton
Welcome to a journey, friend.
Today begins a 31-day expedition to finding our passion and
learning a little more about ourselves. My hope is that this will be a journey for both of us that will reunite us with our
passion(s): first, by identifying those elements we feel so strongly about, and secondly,
by finding a path to pursue them.
God has hard-wired us to have passions - but we need to find them! This month, I hope to help you find yours.
My story...
This year, I’m in a new season of life: my baby boy just began kindergarten this fall
and is in school full-time. My other
baby is a strong-willed fourth-grade girl who is ready to conquer the world! For the first time, our babies are finally together at the same school. (And, yes, I will always refer to them as my
babies. Always.) I’m still trying to get used to this new
season of not having any children at home. I've had a few emotional days.
In my past season of life, though, when I was the mama of
littles running around the house and had very limited free time, I let tasks and commitments govern me –
and made little to no time for personal creative pursuits. Only mama and house business. All the time.
Fresh food first. Laundry next. Exercise and sleep (good – but not always fun). Commitments after that. ...These activities left very little mental
creative time for this mama. Plus, I was
basing my self-worth on how well I was finishing my to-do list every day.
Once my little guy dropped his afternoon nap, I set no boundaries for my personal time (which is also when I stopped blogging). I love spending time with our children, but I seldom saved any of my time for the one thing I needed most: creative dabbling, dwelling in possibility, resting in an idea, pursuing
a creative vision. It seemed too
self-indulgent! Discipline as a wife,
mother and other roles had won: it wouldn’t leave any room for beauty, spontaneity, whimsy, color or fun.
This past spring, I found myself feeling a little lost - wondering who I was beyond being a mother. I felt very grey - like I was living in a
monotone world. (Remember the movie
“Pleasantville”?) After several tearful conversations with my supportive husband,
I realized that I had become so disciplined that I had simply lost a part of
myself.
The creative path was no longer a part of my life; I had
simply lost my role as a creative writer mama.
And I wasn’t even sure I had the energy to get it back.
Baby steps
The more mamas I speak to, the more I'm learning that this lack of passion is a common experience for many women.
What about you? How are you feeling today?
Take a few minutes to think about what’s on your mind and write
down your thoughts. Start creating some mental
space for things other than your to-do list. What do you feel passionate about
today?
Taking time to write down my thoughts a few minutes each day was the beginning of a therapeutic, productive process. I'll share more about that tomorrow.
The Oxford Dictionary defines passion as strong emotion or
enthusiasm; eagerness, intensity, zeal, mania, obsession, craze, hunger, itch,
yearning, longing, desire.
How about a cup of this? Yes, please!
Looking forward to our journey.
I'd like to dedicate this post to Kat at HowTheyBlog.com and Anne at Modern Mrs. Darcy. Anne talked about passion in a recent interview with Kat - and it really sparked a creative process. Many thanks, Kat and Anne.
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